What others think syndrome?

We all agree that our goal of life is to be in good health, happiness, peace, and
joy. We do a lot of things to remain happy. Yet, the fact is that most of the time
we remain in a state of unhappiness. If we introspect, we realize that most of
our time is spent worrying about what others think. In other words, our
happiness is decided by other people. Others have the remote control about
our state of mind or happiness. It may be difficult to believe this, but it is a fact.
Let us see with a few examples.
When we are going for a party, are we not too much concerned about the way
we are dressed up or our appearance? If somebody makes a negative
comment on us, it hurts us very much. And the negative feeling will remain in
our mind for hours and days. Is it not? Because the way others thought about
us resulted in loss of all the charm and happiness of the party and has created
lot of pain in our mind. Take the example of some students, we have seen
many students feeling hurt and sad for days when adversely commented upon
in the class by the teacher or ridiculed by other students. Suppose we are
purchasing a car or a dress, we are concerned more about the impression
among the neighbours or colleagues or friends than the need of it. Most of our
behaviour is a result of our efforts to create a good impression among others.
If we examins our own minds and behavioural patterns, we will realize that
there are hundreds of such occasions daily where we are concerned about
what others think of us. Is it rational to waste our time or precious life on this?
Of course not.
I do not say that we should not respect the opinion of others or bother about
others. Of course, we should respect others, we should respect the norms of
social gatherings or formal gatherings or we should respect the rules of the
society. These are all rational responses. As a rational human being, we are
expected to think, feel, and behave in a rational manner as per the
requirement of each situation. This will not create problem or unhappiness in
life.
More insights are available from training programmes or counselling
sessions or the book on ‘Mind Engineering’.